1. What even is this place?
Oh, you’re in for a liquor-filled chocolate treat. We’re the hotspot for anyone striking out on their own, growing a business or venture, and looking for fresh, interesting ways to make anybody care. The word “newsletter” is officially banned, and we throw banana peels at terrible internet marketing fads like “download my eBook.” Because nobody wants your free goodies, unless you’re Ciara or Petey Pablo, and even then.
2. Why am I even here?
Fucking Facebook, probably. Ooh, or karma. Just kidding, probably Facebook.
3. Why is it called The Middle Finger Project?
Because TMF is in the business of screwing business as usual, in favor of doing business unusually better. Also, ‘no rules, just right’ was taken by Outback Steakhouse.
4. What kind of company actually names their blog The Middle Finger Project?
The kind called House of Moxie, Inc. on paper. Clearly we had to live up to our name. No but really, read this for a quick-fire shot of what we’re all about.
5. Do you like kids?
We’ll defer to Aziz Ansari for this one. (http://www.thedailybeast.com/videos/2011/08/09/aziz-ansari-is-scared-of-babies.html)
6. What if I don’t have a business or anything like that? Why should I stick around?
Cool it with the ‘tude. Spoiler alert: We write a lot about when you’re not at all excited by anything in life anymore except burritos, so that might apply, and even have a special Saturday column called Adultery, which is mostly our judgy observations about being mature adults (and an excuse to swear a lot.)
7. I’m thinking about starting a small business–where’s the best place to start?
Ooh, come ride with me (said like the owner of a magic carpet, not like the owner of an unmarked white van). This over here plus this will get you exactly where you need to be.
8. I already have a business and need help marketing it–where’s the best place to start?
You ask really great questions. Clickety clack over here and jump down this glorious marketing rabbit hole of success and riches. (It’s a section of our blog–calm down.)
9. Do you only like olives when they’re drowned in vodka?
Do YOU only like celery when it’s doing laps in a Bloody Mary?
10. Can I take one of you ladies on a date?
Mom always told me not to look a gift horse in the mouth but I was 7, so I was like, “HORSES?! AWESOME!” So what I’m saying is yes. Maybe. Definitely. Maybe.
11. Are you currently accepting copywriting clients?
Cue the cutest, tiniest violin playing the theme song from Fievel Goes West. AKA no, not at the moment. We’re booked-city. (But plan to open up some fun new creative services again muy soon!)
12. Are you currently accepting private consulting clients?
Aww nuts, not right now. We’ve got some other fancy aces up our sleeves instead.
13. Will you read my love letter to my long lost Cuban boyfriend and tell me what you think?
No, but he can send us some cigars if he wants.
14. If you aren’t currently accepting clients, how can I access your brain?
A fun, footloose and fancy-free way to tap into the TMF brainchild is by getting e-mentored by us for free by putting your email into the big box at the bottom of the website. You’ll get two new ideas weekly on marketing yourself in original ways (and shunning the sea of sameness) and spoonfuls of success sugar that will change the way you do business, and give you a leg up, (a long leg up, that is), on your competition. Also, check out our small business DIY kits here and keep your googley eyes peeled for our upcoming resource library where Belle from Beauty and the Beast is the librarian.
15. Yellow mustard or brown?
16. Does the shoe ever fit?
17. Why is everything on your website so big?
That’s what she said.
18. You swear too much. Do I need to love swearing to love it here?
Hell no. Crap. I mean seriously, no. We just are colorful humans who use colorful language because sometimes people need to wake up and pay attention. (I think that last bit is a line from Sister Act 2. You’re welcome)
19. Where is your team located?
We’re all over. We’ve got people in Costa Rica, Chicago, Oregon, Washington, Colorado, New Jersey, Virginia, Pennsylvania, and even sometimes Chile. You name it. We often work while traveling and exploring, mostly because we like the thrill of frequent flier miles.
20. How do you guys work so well together remotely?
A lot of booze. No, really. Everybody on the team has a decanter that reads: TMFproject Writer’s Elixir. Also: A lot of communication. And a lot of Basecamp. (Founder Ash’s favorite line is: I’ll put that in the Basecamp!)
21. Did you make Ash a birthday video?
Why, yes we did. How about those dance moves and facial hair? (The two secret keys to success.)
22. If you could only give one piece of advice, what would you say?
Don’t listen to anybody. Everybody is scared. Which is actually a Jay-Z lyric, so there’s that.
23. Is there a place I can go to read a back log of all your posts?
Pour yourself some scotch and crank open the dreaming part of your brain. Aaaaand go.
24. What if I want you to write for me in 2014? Can I get on a list to be notified when you’re taking clients again?
You’re cute and we like you. Yes, email our mastermind, Jess at firstname.lastname@example.org
25. What’s your favorite word?
Hippopotamus. I mean, just read it out loud. Isn’t it your favorite word?
26. Why do you like marketing & sales so much?
Why do you ask so many questions? But really, because it involves fascinating human behavior and, let’s be honest: People are finding you. They just don’t care.
27. Where do you get your creative ideas?
From always asking, “What if?”
28. Any tips on creativity?
Drink more. Say yes more. Maybe not both at once though, okay?
29. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Uh, he can chuck wood, so the joke is on you guys.